


Scars and stutters

by Yaseinopopi



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Depressed Morty Smith, Depression, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Morty needs a hug, Other, Rick Being an Asshole, They all need a hug, but then he gets nicer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-19 04:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22038343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yaseinopopi/pseuds/Yaseinopopi
Summary: Some scars are internalbut one day they become visible.(this is in no means to promote self harm, so a large trigger warning now)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 109





	1. 1

Morty was tired.  
Of his parents muffled shouting,  
of his failing grades,  
of the endless nightmares,  
of the endless horrors he would encounter on a day to day basic  
and of course, Rick, just being.. Rick.  
No tired was an understatement, he was exhausted.

It was 12:40, not too late, but late enough for the smith family to be sleeping, with the exception of the boy. Morty lay on his bed, face towards the ceiling, starring into the nothingness. He couldn’t really remember when it had started specifically, but Morty felt nothing but nothingness, even he had to admit that he somewhat missed his old twitchy self. He had always hated himself, as much as he didn’t ever want to admit that. Had always been riddled with anxiety, panic attacks almost always on the regular, which be never enjoyed, yet even that was better than this. Fuck, he hadn’t even been able to wank, thats how energy less he was. Nothing he did would reflect from the feelings of utter worthlessness. However tonight he felt like it was the time for this to end, or at least to attempt to.

Quietly, he tiptoed to the bathroom, and found his dads shaving equipment. Several small silver razor blades were in an unopened plastic wrap. He gripped one in his hand, careful with it. For the first time in a while, there was a small tug in Mortys chest. He’d heard about self harm at school, it was all over those anti bullying posters, like that would make any fucking difference. He had never imagined that one day, he would also be participating in it. Sitting on the floor, he lifted up the razor and began to slowly and hesitantly drag it across his skin, just one baby cut. He cringed at the slight sting, and the blood that began to swell from his leg, yet though hesitant to start, he couldn’t stop, there was a second cut, and a third, and then cuts began to cover his whole thigh, before he could finally get a hold of himself and put the razor down. And not before the long, the panic started to kick in. He quickly cleared everything up, bloody tissues thrown down the toilet, plasters now covering his thigh, he just didn’t know what to do with the blade, so he kept it with him. He crept back to his bedroom, put the razor blade under his pillow, and tried not to think about what he just did. This was a night to forget. 

Safe to say, Morty did not sleep well that night.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It begins to build up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I really didn’t realise how fucking short these chapters were ooooops, anyway I hope this hasn’t been too bad :,)

“Morty, your Mom told me to wake your ass up, you got school,”

It was Rick. Morty had completely forgotten about school, it was the least of of his worries.

“Ah jeeze, gimme like 5 minuets will you,”

“I’m not your fucking alarm clock dipshit,”

“Alright alright, I’m up,”

Morty awoke with the pain on his thigh, and a pain up his fucking ass (cough cough Rick) but yet today, he felt more chill than ever. He had the motivation to wash, he managed to do his homework, and he even laughed on his adventure with Rick, though he sweared to himself he would never repeat lasts nights events again. Every thing seemed to be going well...until things started to crash down again. 

“Seriously Morty, I ask you to do one fucking thing and you mess it up!” 

“Look Rick ok I’m sorry! I don’t know how many times you want me to say it,”

“Until you stop being a fucking dumbass that’s how many times,”

Morty had accidentally plugged in wrong switch, and it caused a pretty massive explosion, something easily fixable, but Rick was drunk, and Morty wasn’t in the mood for the insults. On the way back in the spaceship, the lowness started to creep back in again. The world started to feel so dark and lonely, he just couldn’t take this...

But then a thought crept back into his head, the razor was still safely placed under his bed, if he just brought it out..no! What he did was bad, and he promised himself he’d never do that to himself again, he just gotta hold his head up and hope for the better. Yet by the time he got home, he stopped thinking straight and ran up stairs to do what would quickly become a ritual. Morty locked himself in the bathroom, and swiftly began to great more lesions across his other thigh, this time he was more quick, he wasn’t afraid this time. He just wanted to feel ok, he  _needed_ to feel ok.

And over the sprawl of weeks, his thighs would become a multi arrange of different shades of red. Short cuts, long cuts. And as time went on, he became more confident with his self harm, as the cuts became deeper, covering every craves. He didn’t even bother bandaging them anymore, because he really didn’t care anymore. He even brought the razor to school with him, and every time he felt overwhelmed it would be a swift *slash* and everything felt ok again. 

“Everything is ok now, I’m doing better now,” morty thought to himself.

But little did he know that building it up, would only make this worse.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a classic Rick and Morty adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE CHAPTERS KEEP ON GETTING SHORTER AHHHH

“Holy shit Rick! What is that?”  
“It’s a flimsyglup Morty, don’t touch it, it can fire acid for miles,”   
It was a classic Rick and Morty adventure, they were on other wacky planet like always. They were surrounded by large, purple aliens.  
“Now listen here Morty, all we gotta do is walk straight past them, and hope to not to trigger them, like I said, these bad boys can shoot acid for miles, and that stings like hellll,”  
“ohh jeeze Rick, I don’t think this is a good idea,”  
“Just relax will ya, if you follow what I do, and don’t be a dumbass, everything’s gonna be ok,”

Those were some comforting last words, yet comfort doesn’t seem to work when you’re now sprinting across an foreign planet, being chased down by acid spraying giant aliens. Morty, of course, was not as fast as Rick, so Rick lifter Morty by the collar and lifted him up, it made Morty feel useless that he couldn’t run on his own, though being dragged across the air was pretty fun.  
“R-rick! Over there! A cave!”  
“Good thinking morty!”

Rick ran into the cave, throwing Morty down on the floor. Morty felt a sharp pain against his thigh, he suddenly remembered what he’d done to himself, and the pain began to grow even more severe.   
“Morty! What did I say, if you follow what I do, and don’t be a dumbass, everything’s gonna be ok but clearly you didn’t listen to the ‘dont be a dumbass’ part.”  
“hey! I did everything you did, it’s not my fault they managed to notice me,”  
“yeah, they could probably see that you’re a *belch* pile of shit, anyway we need t-Jesus Morty your leg is fucking bleeding,”

At that moment, Mortys whole heart dropped.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to take a turn. Maybe for the worse. Maybe for the better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the next chapter 5 will be longer  
>  （＾_＾）  
> (Or at least I will attempt too)

“o-oh y-yeah it is aha, how about that,” Morty couldn’t stop stuttering, he was trying to seem unbothered but deep down he was petrified.

“How about that? You’re gonna need to clean that soon. Weird, your trousers haven’t ripped, anyway take the jeans off, I’ve got some pray, you’re gonna want to clean that,”

“no R-rick honestly I’m fine, I can do it when we get back,” he was getting desperate for Rick to get off his back.

“Look Morty I cant care if I ‘accidentally see your ding dong’, I care if you end up getting an infection, not because I care, but because your parents will fucking kill me,” he grabbed towards Morty 

“no! Stop it! Get the  _fuck_ off me-“ 

It was too late, Rick could see the array of cuts, that had now opened up and bleeding fresh. Morty kept his eyes closed, he didn’t want to see Ricks face.

Rick tried to think about what he was seeing. For the most that he was concerned, Morty was a dumbass, a lovable one at that. As much as he didn’t admit it, Rick loved his grandkids, especially Morty, I mean there wasn’t much to dislike about him, he had a good heart, not much of a brain though. Rick just couldn’t believe what his eyes were showing. ’Morty couldn’t be suffering right? This, this just isn’t right, maybe it has become a trend at school, yeah, that had to be it, there’s no way he’d do this to himself on his own accord. He was too dumb to. Everything was ok, Mortys fine. Absolutely nothing to worry about!’ Ricks thoughts were flowing so fast, but he tried to think about this as logically as he could. 

“Alright, let’s just get some antiseptic on this, Jesus Morty do you even know how to bandage? Anyway, we gotta be quick, the flimsyglup are gone so we can get my fluid now.”

There wasn’t a concerned glance, there wasn’t Rick calling Morty an idiot, or him making fun of him for being ‘emo’, there was nothing, the only thing Rick seemed to care about was getting that fluid.

Rick doesn’t care about me 

_ Rick never cared about me. _

Though, Morty just didn’t feel anything, he was so shellshocked that he was felt himself slowly fade away, everything felt blurry. However he still managed to finish the adventure, still Rick and Morty style.

But on the journey back, the silence in the rocket ship was heavy.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Healing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter, so I made it a bit longer then the other ones, I hope some of you enjoyed it ✌︎('ω'✌︎ )
> 
> Also, since this is my first fic, I wouldn’t mind some constructive criticism (don’t be too mean lol) I want to improve my work, thanks!

The feelings slowly started to overcome Morty. Did Rick not care? Someone surely had to care about him right? Did anyone even care? He had no friends at school, and Rick was the closest thing to a friend he ever had.

He was alone.

_ No one cared. _

And now he was in a bathroom again with a razor blade. He couldn’t cry, he couldn’t shout, he couldn’t do anything but rip his legs up, no one would care anyway.

Little did he know, Rick could care too.

Rick sat in his lab, thinking to himself what he’d seen. He tried to convince himself that everything was ok, but he didn’t just see knew cuts, he saw hundreds of ones underneath as well, how long did he do this to himself for? Who...who would push him that far? What this his fault? Did he do this to Morty? And now the kid was alone again, he didn’t want to imagine what he was possibly doing to himself. Rick didn’t like to show his emotions to others, but now he must of seemed like an apathetic asshole. He needed to act fast.

“Fuck, I am too sober for this,”

Rick, with little hesitation, ran upstairs.

“Morty! Morty hurry, we need to go on a a super urgent adventure!” 

“Seriously Rick? We literally just went on an adventure, and I’m tired, can’t we do it later?”

“No Morty! You’re whole world depends on it, and I know I say that a lot, but this time it’s true! Come hurry!”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming, what is it we need?”

And through the portal they went 

“Wait Rick. Why are we in the garage? I thought you said this was urgent,”

“This is urgent Morty, just sit your ass down,”

Rick looked at Morty directly in the eyes, with a look ofMorty felt his entire body tense up.

“Look Kid, you’re probably gonna feel uncomfortable talking about this, and trust me I feel uncomfortable asking. But I need the truth. Why did you cut yourself?”

That question made Morty feel like his entire soul just left his body. But it was Rick wasn’t it? He couldn’t surely give a fuck?

“What? Why would it matter to you,”

Rick hated this, he hates showing any true emotion, he just wanted to make sure the kid was going to ok.

“Listen asshole, I’m trying to help you, you can’t keep-“

“NO RICK, YOU’RE THE FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU COULDN’T GIVE JACK SHIT ABOUT ME, YOU ONLY NEED MY FUCKING BRAIN WAVES! YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ME AT ALL, NO ONE DOES.”

Morty began to stutter, his throat began to close up,

“no one cares Rick, I feel so alone,”

Rick sat there absolutely speechless. He was the smartest man in the universe and yet he had know idea this was what was going on. He didn’t know what to say, however he tried his best to comfort.

“Morty don’t be so stup-ridiculous. Listen to me buddy-“

Warm tears began to to swell in Mortys eyes, trying to hold them back as much as he could, he didn’t want to be a ‘crybaby’. Suddenly though, he felt a warm embrace, as Rick began holding him.

“It’s ok, you’re going to be ok. Things will get dark sometimes, and I know it seems impossible to see the end of it, but you need to stop doing this to yourself. Grandpas here bud, I know I seem like a grumpy old douche at times but I mean it ok?”

Morty began to let out a choked sob, all emotions spewing out of his body at once. Despite his crying, for once, Morty started to feel less worthless, that he actually meant something, he hadn’t been able to cry for so long. That it’s going to be a rockeyroad, but things could get better. 

And for Rick, he always felt like everything was meaningless, but trying to bring his grandson happiness meant something to help. He felt like he had a purpose.

**Author's Note:**

> heyyyy. This is my first fic so I hope it wasn’t too bad :D  
> Also the chapters aren’t that long so I’m sorry about that!


End file.
